How to ingratiate yourself with a Scot

This month’s winner is KEN YOUNG of El Lago, TX:

A few years back, I was having a beer in a small pub near Inverness, Scotland, and one of the locals began a friendly conversation. When I happened to mention that my mother was a Wallace (as in William) and that I also had a son-in-law named Robbie Bruce (really!), the locals cheerfully bought me a brew.

The clincher came when one of them asked, “So, you’re from the United States, now, ain’t ye?”

“Well,” I said, “I’m from Texas.”

Slightly puzzled, he asked, “Aye, but Texas IS part of the United States, is it not?”

“Well,” I replied, knowing how most Scots feel about the English, “Let me put it this way: Texas is to the United States as Scotland is to the United Kingdom!” 

Hoot mon! They bought me drinks the rest of the night.