Funniest Thing

June, 2021 Issue

This month’s winner is MARY HESSE JENKINS of Santa Rosa, California:

Many years ago, I hitchhiked from Egypt to Morocco with my boyfriend. In Nabeul, Tunisia, we were picked up by this fellow about 30 years old. His English was only fair, but he mentioned something about Christmas and having a wife and two babies and not much money.

After about 15 miles, our driver veered off the main road and went down a dirt road. I whispered to my friend, “What is he doing? I’m scared.”

A little way down the dirt road, he stopped the car, opened the trunk and got out an axe. I was almost crying. I was petrified.

The man sauntered off into the forest, then came back with a Christmas tree. How do you spell RELIEF?!


Tell us about something humorous that happened to you while traveling outside the United States. There are no restrictions on length. ITN staff will choose each month’s winner, who will receive a free one-year subscription to ITN. Include your full mailing address. Entries not chosen cannot be acknowledged.


May, 2021 Issue

This month’s winner is WILLIAM SOLOF of Golden, Colorado:

Visiting Holland a few years ago, my wife and I obtained rooms at a farm outside Amsterdam. Our host had a ginormous Bouvier des Flandres named Berri.

At dinner that first evening, the dog kept pushing and sniffing us, and it became, to say the least, quite annoying. We finally asked our host about the dog’s behavior.

The answer was “When you return late this evening, you really want Berri to remember your scent.”

Oh! Sniff away, Berri dog!


Tell us about something humorous that happened to you while traveling outside the United States. There are no restrictions on length. ITN staff will choose each month’s winner, who will receive a free one-year subscription to ITN. Include your full mailing address. Entries not chosen cannot be acknowledged.


April, 2021 Issue

This month’s winner is EMILY MOORE of Greenville, Illinois:

Several years ago while visiting Salzburg, Austria, my husband and I took the funicular up to Hohensalz burg Fortress and enjoyed videoing the many scenes up there. This was back in the day when video cameras were still quite large, and my husband was carrying his around his neck, letting it hang down, which made it easy to turn on accidentally, wasting a lot of footage.

Back in our hotel room that evening, we were anxious to see the video we had taken that day. We turned on the camcorder and, squinting in the viewfinder, saw scene after scene of beautiful buildings and the great view of Salzburg.

We also heard our conversation, including, at one point, my husband asking me if I had the right change for the WC, and then the video continued: hiking boot, cobblestone, hiking boot, cobblestone…, then wood floor, hiking boot, wood floor, hiking boot…. Oh, no! He’s going to the men’s WC!

Sure enough, the video changed to… tile floor, hiking boot, tile floor, hiking boot, and then it stopped. Turned off just in time!


Tell us about something humorous that happened to you while traveling outside the United States. There are no restrictions on length. ITN staff will choose each month’s winner, who will receive a free one-year subscription to ITN. Include your full mailing address. Entries not chosen cannot be acknowledged.

 


March, 2021 Issue

This month’s winner is SARNIA GUITON of Nairobi, Kenya:

Some years ago, I was traveling with a group in Egypt. One day, we visited the Khan Al Khalili bazaar in Cairo. This was a rushed visit, so I returned by myself after the day’s guided tour had ended.

There were few people there on my return visit. While I was walking along the alleys between the shops, a man stepped out of his shop and called to me, “Lady, lady, come buy. I have everything in my shop. What you want?”

I replied, with a smile, “Nothing.”

“Oh, lady, I have lots of nothing!”

Then he realized what he had said. We both had a good laugh, and I went on my way.


 

Tell us about something humorous that happened to you while traveling outside the United States. There are no restrictions on length. ITN staff will choose each month’s winner, who will receive a free one-year subscription to ITN. Include your full mailing address. Entries not chosen cannot be acknowledged.


February, 2021 Issue

This month’s winner is DOLORES (LOIE) MAMINSKI of Westminster, Maryland:

Years ago, on a trip to Italy with friends and their young son, we chose a small restaurant in Naples for supper.

Our friend had noticed in another restaurant diners being served a carafe of white wine with a peach inside, and she wanted to order it for our meal. She inquired in her newly acquired version of Italian if we could have a carafe of wine with a peach.

The server looked mildly puzzled but soon returned holding in one hand a carafe of white wine and in the other hand a fish by the tail. He had a small smile on his face.

We guessed he was accustomed to tourists practicing the local language without realizing the Italian words for peach (pesca) and fish (pesce) sound quite similar, but, being a professional, he wanted to make sure a fish in wine was not our choice.

Or maybe he was just having some fun with Americans!


Tell us about something humorous that happened to you while traveling outside the United States. There are no restrictions on length. ITN staff will choose each month’s winner, who will receive a free one-year subscription to ITN. Include your full mailing address. Entries not chosen cannot be acknowledged.

 


January, 2021 Issue

This month’s winner, JEFF GARRETT of Lauderhill, Florida, is a tour operator:

On my fall “5 ’Stans” tour in 2018, our group made a pit stop near lake Issyk-Kul in Kyrgyzstan. At this stop there is a modern gas station, with a beautiful Western WC, and a modern supermarket, where our groups always stock up on “goodies.”

Even though there were ample bottles of drinking water in our Sprinter van for everyone, one couple on the tour, Jay and his wife, Kim, were always stocking up on bottled water on their own.

Well, Jay emerged from the market with a HUGE bottle of what he presumed was drinking water. When he asked our guide, Ramil, about the plastic bottle having a blue color, the guide read the Krygyz print.

Jay and his wife were the proud owners of a bottle of glass cleaner.

We told Jay that we would gladly put him to work cleaning the windows on our van.

 


 

Tell us about something humorous that happened to you while traveling outside the United States. There are no restrictions on length. ITN staff will choose each month’s winner, who will receive a free one-year subscription to ITN. Include your full mailing address. Entries not chosen cannot be acknowledged.

 


December, 2020 Issue

This month’s winner is DEB KALIKOW of Westford, Massachusetts:

I was on a tour of France when our group visited the Fragonard perfumery in Grasse. After being shown the entire interesting perfume-making process, from flowers to packaging, we ended up at the gift shop, of course.

I hadn’t used perfume in years, but, looking around and testing a few scents, I found one I liked. It smelled luscious, and I thought it would make a fine souvenir of France, so I bought a bottle.

Being newly remarried, I wasn’t yet sure of all my husband’s likes and dislikes, such as which perfume he might enjoy on me, and he hadn’t accompanied me on this trip. (He was still working; l was retired.)

After I finished in the shop, I went outside to wait for our tour bus to return and chatted with one of my tour mates. He and I had previously bonded over the fact that both he and my husband had been in the Marine Corps. As they say, once a Marine, always a Marine.

My friend noticed that I was caring a Fragonard bag and asked, “Did you buy something here?”

I replied, “Yes. I hope my husband likes it.”

He looked at me in wide-eyed shock and said, with great indignation, “He’s a Marine! He’ll NEVER wear perfume!”


Tell us about something humorous that happened to you while traveling outside the United States. There are no restrictions on length. ITN staff will choose each month’s winner, who will receive a free one-year subscription to ITN. Include your full mailing address. Entries not chosen cannot be acknowledged.

 


November, 2020 Issue

This month’s winner is JOHN HEBERLE of Rochester, New York:

Traveling with a group in China and being 6'6" tall, I often received looks from the locals, which was understandable.

One time, a group of locals approached, and one of them was almost the same height as I. We looked at each other and then, drawing closer, shook hands. Even though we didn’t speak the same language, our height did all the talking.

People began to snap pictures of the two of us. I said as a joke, “One dollar. One dollar. One dollar.” Several in our group gave me dollars, laughing about it.

I gave the dollars to my new Chinese friend, and our groups departed, both still talking about what they had seen.


 

Tell us about the funniest thing that happened to you while traveling in a foreign country. (ITN prints no info on destinations in the United States.) There are no restrictions on length. ITN staff will choose each month’s winner, who will receive a free one-year subscription to ITN. Include your full mailing address. Entries not chosen cannot be acknowledged.

 


October, 2020 Issue

This month’s winner is SHEILA MONK of Richland, Missouri:

I was in Guatemala on a field trip that a friend of mine, Ken, had arranged for his horticulture students. With two spaces left, he had offered one to his nephew and one to me.

After days of viewing nurseries featuring poinsettias and ferns and other green growing things, we were ready for a change of pace when we reached Lake Atitlán, an incredibly beautiful place in the always-springlike Guatemalan central highlands. Our leader had been promising us a treat.

While we settled into our stone cottages, Ken happily organized a cozy group of lakeside chaise lounges and invited us to join him after dark for a magnificent view of the August meteor showers. We arrived toting jackets and blankets — and a good supply of our innkeeper’s killer margaritas — and settled in for the show.

Chatting softly, we called each other’s attention to falling stars as we spotted them. Suddenly, a meteor with a huge fiery tale streaked across the sky. It seemed almost near enough to touch. We all gasped our astonishment!

The ensuing silence, as we stared in awe at the night sky, was abruptly broken by a huge snore from our leader. Relaxing for the first time in days, he had slept through the whole amazing thing!

Ten years later, he’s still mad at himself for missing the show.


Tell us about the funniest thing that happened to you while traveling in a foreign country. (ITN prints no info on destinations in the United States.) There are no restrictions on length. ITN staff will choose each month’s winner, who will receive a free one-year subscription to ITN. Include your full mailing address. Entries not chosen cannot be acknowledged.

 


September, 2020 Issue

This month’s winner is Col. DON EDMANDS, Jr., USAF (Ret), of Vonore, Tennessee:

During my Air Force career, I was sent to South Korea on an exercise. I was stationed at Osan Air Base near Seoul.

I wanted a pair of orange running shoes, so I went to the market in Seoul. Orange shoes turned out to be harder to find than I imagined. I finally ran across a pair in a small shop. The owner quoted me $30.

I went on down the street looking but didn’t find another orange pair, so I returned to the shop and said I wanted to buy the pair I had looked at. The shopkeeper now said, “$35.”

I said, “Wait a minute. It was $30 earlier.”

He replied, “You come back!”

I got a great laugh out of that one.


 

Tell us about the funniest thing that happened to you while traveling in a foreign country. (ITN prints no info on destinations in the United States.) There are no restrictions on length. ITN staff will choose each month’s winner, who will receive a free one-year subscription to ITN. Include your full mailing address. Entries not chosen cannot be acknowledged.