ITN had subscribers write in on the following issue, one raised by Donna McDonell of Spokane, Washington, who wrote, “With some tour companies, you pay extra for single accommodations on the tour unless they find a roommate for you. But what happens if the roommate they find has issues that are not satisfactory to you? Loud snoring, for example. What if it’s someone who talks too much when you want to relax or sleep or someone who goes on about politics or religion or who you just find irritating? How can you find out these things beforehand… or can you?
“What if you are the one with the bad habit? Should you tell the tour company in advance? Maybe the person you’d be matched with wouldn’t care about your snoring. What is the protocol prior to the trip? And what if you find it necessary to switch roommates after the trip begins?”
Following are responses received.
I have opted for the “strange” roommate on a number of trips, with Adventures Abroad, Explore! (Worldwide), Overseas Adventure Travel (OAT), Grand Circle Travel and Elderhostel.
Maybe I’ve been lucky, but I have never been stuck with a problem person. In all instances, we got along fine. In fact, I am still in contact with a couple of roommates and have traveled with them many more times.
I like Explore! trips because they don’t charge for the single supplement; they just match you up on request. I think men have it better; there are fewer men who ask for a roommate, so they usually get the single with no problem.
On one OAT trip, one of the “matches” was really bad for another person, and the leader made a change of room midway through the tour. Sometimes that isn’t possible, but I figure I can put up with anything for a short time.
If the issue is something like lights or TV or taking up more than your share of the space, sometimes all that is necessary is SAYING SOMETHING to the person. Sometimes.
Ms. Caryl Mikrut
Plainfield, IL
I always think first whether the money savings is worth losing privacy. Most of us don’t share a bathroom at home, let alone want to do so on vacation.
Of course, your mutual comings and goings should be considered. Nap, sleep and eating times, etc., are best when they coincide pretty well or are worked out ahead of time. Some ground rules are always good.
It’s also pleasant if you both enjoy similar pursuits.
This advice goes with respect to a land tour or an ocean voyage.
Above all, keep a sense of humor! Getting too serious invites most problems in this respect. Keep on traveling.
Elizabeth Van Berckelaer
Santa Maria, CA
I travel three or four times a year and happily pay the single supplement and enjoy my privacy. I wouldn’t dream of sharing a room at home. If it can be avoided, why on Earth do it on a trip!
Betty Thomas
Wheat Ridge, CO
Rather than worry about negative issues, look at having a roommate as an adventure.
I have been to over 50 countries, and I have a roommate whenever possible. I have had those who never said one word to me in two weeks and others with whom I have been in touch for up to eight years. I have never been hit on nor robbed. Smokers go outside.
Today, it is almost impossible to get a roommate’s information before meeting them in the room. It is now considered an invasion of privacy. That being said, I will continue to request a roommate so as not to pay the single supplement. I have never paid it.
I would be happy to mention (from my personal experience) companies which do not charge to match roommates. E-mail or write to me c/o ITN.
Carol R. Blucher
Mamaroneck, NY
I took a 2-week tour of the US national parks with Grand Circle Travel in 2008. I was widowed and went with friends of mine (a married couple) but did not want to pay the single supplement of $1,000, so I requested a roommate. If I got lucky and GCT couldn’t find me one, I would have had my own room without having to pay a single supplement.
Well, they found me a roommate, who, unfortunately, was not a good fit for me although she was a perfectly nice woman. I’m a big-city girl who tends to go to bed very late. She was a small-town girl who liked to turn out the lights by 9. Also, she snored and she wasn’t committed to taking a shower every day.
After about four days, I went to our tour guide, requested my own room and told her I would pay the prorated single supplement. I also said that I would handle this with my roommate in a tactful manner so that her feelings wouldn’t be hurt by my defection. I blamed it all on my own finicky sleeping habits.
As it happened, three tour members had already left the trip (one couple because of illness and one woman due to injury), so there were rooms reserved but not being used.
Grand Circle never did bill me the single supplement, so all ended well. My ex-roommate seemed fine with the whole thing and continued to be pleasant and friendly to me.
Would I request an unknown roommate again? No. It’s too much of a crapshoot.
Jeanne Isaacman
Jenkintown, PA
I have gone on more than 60 trips with Elderhostel (now known as Road Scholar), and I usually travel alone. Whenever I found that I preferred to no longer have an assigned roommate on a tour, I simply asked the tour leader kindly if I could go to another room. I never had a negative reaction from any tour leader or operator.
I never had any unkind words with the roommate I was leaving. I just told her that I was going to ask for another room. As a tour participant, I am decent, calm and respectful.
In these situations, only a couple of times was I asked to pay extra to have a single room.
I will not accept an assigned roommate anymore.
Of course, I’m always interested in a tour on which the single supplement is not charged. I’ll never understand why a tour company, or a cruise line, would rather have an empty room than a room with one paid occupant.
Beulah L. Brinker
Woodstown, NJ
“Willing to share” is a phrase that can strike fear into the hearts of many single travelers, mine included. I have traveled on this basis for years; sometimes it works and sometimes it doesn’t.
Of the last seven trips I’ve taken, I had my own room twice, with no roommate. (The company I travel with, ElderTreks, does not charge the single supplement if you are willing to share and they end up not finding you a roommate.)
Twice I had fairly unpleasant roommates who snored thunderously and always went to sleep first. Once I had a roommate who was wonderful but, again, snored loudly enough to wake the dead. Twice I met women with whom I could have become best friends forever if we lived closer together. They did not snore and we laughed ourselves silly.
Other trips, I had a roommate who slept all the time, one male with whom I fought constantly and two other males who were great. By the way, none of the men snored.
If you suspect that snoring is a problem for me, you’re right. I am a light sleeper and do not snore, gurgle, gag or toss and turn. Solutions I’ve found include the best earplugs you can find; Ambien, and/or an MP3 player with music or an audiobook to listen to to drown out the racket. As a last resort, you can put a couple of pillows over your head or curl up on the bathroom floor.
Sometimes another single will take pity on you and let you sleep in her room just for one night.
I will continue to travel as a “willing to share” and take my chances. It’s nice to have company to talk to at the end of the day and tell you where you’re supposed to be and at what time — something I’m not very good about.
Ellen Jacobson
Centennial, CO
Some years ago I went to Egypt with Bales, an English travel company, and was roomed with a burly retired British officer whose snores boomed like his military commands.
I stuffed a mattress and covers into the bathtub, locked the door and went immediately into deep slumber.
The next morning, upon returning the bedding to its frame, I realized that I should have placed the shower curtains OUTSIDE of the tub. No doubt, this left the housekeeper questioning the dampness of the bedding.
E. Chann
Oakland, CA
I have had assigned roommates on tours with Smithsonian Journeys, Intrepid Travel, Rick Steves’ Europe Through the Back Door and Explore! Out of those 11 tours, in only one case did I have any issues with the roommate, who seemed oblivious to the fact that she was sharing a room. Fortunately, on that tour roommates were rotated, so I shared with her only part-time.
Sometimes I got on so well with a roommate that we stayed in touch after the tour.
None of the companies made any attempt to “match” or “vet” roommates. There was no pre-trip protocol, so it was completely “luck of the draw.” On the Intrepid and Rick Steves tours, roommates were rotated if there were more than two singles of the same sex.
If you know that you snore or are otherwise an undesirable roommate, you shouldn’t plan to share.
Kathy Wilhelm
Cary, NC
In my family we were inveterate travelers, and my husband and I try to keep up the tradition. After my father passed away, my mother still went gadding about, but she preferred finding a roommate over paying the single supplement.
My mother knew she snored, so she always brought along earplugs as a gift to the roommate. That seemed to work beautifully, and I don’t think she had any other bothersome habits.
By the way, the best earplugs we have found are Muffle Wax Earplugs made by Boots Pharmaceuticals (www.boots.com/en) in the UK. Anytime we’re in the UK, including in London Heathrow, we find the Boots Pharmacy and load up!
They come five pairs to the package, and the price is very reasonable (£2.49, or $4). They are considerably more comfortable than the foam ones I’ve found in the US, and they can be reused.
Martha Lance
Fullerton, CA
Also effective are Mack’s silicone (wax) earplugs, available in the US at stores such as Wal-Mart and some chain pharmacies and supermarkets (six pairs for about $5).
As a tour operator since 1989, I’ve matched many roommates on our group trips around the world in order to save tour members the dreaded single-supplement expense.
Our booking form requests detailed information on each person (hometown, age, occupation, interests), which aids in getting a good match. Some write that they are morning people, dog lovers, night owls, etc., which helps as well. It also helps that I know many of the people from previous trips.
I personally spend a week examining the forms. I have found that it’s worth investing my time to determine who would be a good fit for each other. Many become such close friends that they choose to room together on future trips. We’ve witnessed countless lifelong friendships develop and can assert that most matches do fine 90% of the time.
Now for the other 10%. There have been some situations of “roommates from hell.” They did drugs, they never showered or they stole items from their roommates. Some people were simply inconsiderate or they were chronic complainers who attempted to make the entire group miserable. A couple of years ago, we did move a problem person to another room at a cost to us of about $500.
After great thought, we found that the only solution was to exclude these problem makers from later trips. We have changed our tour company to a members-only travel club and maintain a database of travelers who fit well together. Now, if necessary, we can tell one of those previous tour members, “Sorry, our club membership is full.”
The law of attraction works like magic and benefits all. Our motto is, simply, “Kindness begets kindness.”
Suzy Davis
Smyrna, GA
For a tour to Bhutan in October ’11, two women, ages 57 and 73, had agreed to be roommates, but two nights into the tour the younger one decided she did not want to room with the “older” woman. What to do?
Rooms were difficult to come by because not only was it festival time in Bhutan but the royal wedding was taking place. Also, the person who made the decision to no longer share objected to paying the single supplement, and the person who was willing to continue sharing did not feel it was fair to have to pay for a single room.
Our tour leader had never encountered this problem before. Our small group was displaced from our original hotel list because of the need for an additional room, plus we had to deal with personality problems.
In the end, my friend and I split our sharing arrangements and she stayed with the younger woman and I shared with the older one. We never received so much as a ‘Thank you’ for our sacrifice.
My recommendation is to travel with a friend. If that’s not an option, then save up for a single supplement. It could save you and the entire group from having a big headache!
Kathryn Jones
Silverdale, WA
I have had roommates with whom I still maintain contact, and then there was the person whom I could not stand. Some of the others in that group said, “I’m glad you are rooming with her and not me.” Since then, over 10 years ago, I have not again taken a roommate and will pay any amount to have my own room.
I do very well without a roommate. People are friendly to one alone, unless it is on a big cruise ship. Most of those cruisers have families or are in groups and are not interested in getting acquainted with a woman single… so I don’t cruise. Small ships are okay, as everyone is usually ready to meet new folks and there are other singles to mingle with.
Nancy Bunyan
Lihue, HI
Over the years, I have attended at least eight international Elderhostel (now Road Scholar) programs. For each, I asked for a double, which meant that a roommate would be assigned if one were available. Most of the time I did not get such a male and thus paid a double rate for a single accommodation.
There were four times when I did have a roommate. When my daughter (who requested a single) and I traveled to Cuba, I was given a very deaf roommate. My hearing is limited, too, and everyone on the same floor of the hotel could hear us talking, my daughter said. However, we did get along satisfactorily.
On a South America trip I had a much younger roommate. I snored and he could not abide it, complaining constantly. I felt sorry for him and made suggestions as to what he could do to alleviate the problem. Sometimes I even retired after he was asleep.
He was doing the trip on the cheap because of a limited budget, but he shouldn’t have asked for a double if he couldn’t handle snoring (or he should have been deaf!).
In Paris, my roommate was a man who was politically opposite from me. I avoided such discussions after I found he had no sense of humor about any failings in his party’s presidential candidate.
My trip to India provided me with a college professor. For various reasons, he tended to hang out with people from California, while I played bridge with other people usually late into the night, thus our contacts were limited and we retired at different times.
I have also taken several lengthy cruises and, since the cabins are too small to allow for a roommate, whether he snores or not, I have always paid a premium to have a double cabin to myself. Believe me, this is important for a man almost 80 who weighs 230 pounds and is six foot six inches tall. With Holland America Line, having the two beds pushed together gives me the equivalent of a queen-sized bed.
When my late wife and I cruised, she insisted we get a suite to avoid the congestion we would otherwise have in a routine cabin.
Philip H. De Turk
Pinehurst, NC
I’ve done many tours with assigned roommates. Cost reduction and companionship plus the added safety factor (the roommate will miss me if I get lost and will report if I’m ill) have dictated this choice, and I’ve never regretted it.
One roommate has become a valuable friend and frequent travel companion. Others were pleasant company or, at least, tolerable for the course of the tour. The fact that both of us selected the same tour is a good initial indication that we have some traits and interests in common.
Flexibility, allowing space and having good humor haven’t failed me.
I do pay the single supplement on cruises or really long tours where having private personal space is important.
Carol Anderson
Delray Beach FL