Funniest thing

December 2020 issue

Just behind the ears
By Deb Kalikow

This month’s winner is DEB KALIKOW of Westford, Massachusetts:

I was on a tour of France when our group visited the Fragonard perfumery in Grasse. After being shown the entire interesting perfume-making process, from flowers to packaging, we ended up at the gift shop, of course.

I hadn’t used perfume in years, but, looking around and testing a few scents, I found one I liked. It smelled luscious, and I thought it would make a fine souvenir of France, so I bought a bottle.

Being newly remarried, I wasn’t yet sure of all my husband’s likes and...

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November 2020 issue

Seeing eye to eye
By John Heberle

This month’s winner is JOHN HEBERLE of Rochester, New York:

Traveling with a group in China and being 6'6" tall, I often received looks from the locals, which was understandable.

One time, a group of locals approached, and one of them was almost the same height as I. We looked at each other and then, drawing closer, shook hands. Even though we didn’t speak the same language, our height did all the talking.

People began to snap pictures of the two of us. I said as a joke, “One dollar. One dollar. One dollar.” Several in our group gave me...

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October 2020 issue

Night watch
By Sheila Monk

This month’s winner is SHEILA MONK of Richland, Missouri:

I was in Guatemala on a field trip that a friend of mine, Ken, had arranged for his horticulture students. With two spaces left, he had offered one to his nephew and one to me.

After days of viewing nurseries featuring poinsettias and ferns and other green growing things, we were ready for a change of pace when we reached Lake Atitlán, an incredibly beautiful place in the always-springlike Guatemalan central highlands. Our leader had been promising us a treat.

While we settled into our stone cottages, Ken...

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September 2020 issue

Supply and demand
By Col. Don Edmands, Jr.

This month’s winner is Col. DON EDMANDS, Jr., USAF (Ret), of Vonore, Tennessee:

During my Air Force career, I was sent to South Korea on an exercise. I was stationed at Osan Air Base near Seoul.

I wanted a pair of orange running shoes, so I went to the market in Seoul. Orange shoes turned out to be harder to find than I imagined. I finally ran across a pair in a small shop. The owner quoted me $30.

I went on down the street looking but didn’t find another orange pair, so I returned to the shop and said I wanted to buy the pair I had looked at. The...

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August 2020 issue

“When are we?”
By Liz (Sarah) Fischer

This month’s winner is LIZ (SARAH) FISCHER of Tarpon Springs, Florida:

In 2010 my husband and I did a 3-week self-drive trip through New Zealand. Armed with a good map and “Dora the Explorer,” as we affectionately called our first portable GPS, we set off to see this beautiful country. We didn’t realize that relying strictly on the GPS is not a good idea. You should also always refer to a good map.

Our first small incident with Dora was on the North Island. We were driving south from Rotorua to Wellington when suddenly we were directed to take a hard...

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July 2020 issue

Periscope up!
By Pam Kelly

Leaving Prague on our first river cruise, the captain announced that we would soon be approaching a lock and our riverboat would be dropping down approximately 6 feet. 

We wondered why our cabin mate suddenly took off running. Catching up with her in the cabin, we asked what the rush was. 

She answered, “I have to close the sliding glass door to keep the water from coming into the cabin.”

We all just stood silent, looked at each other, then burst out laughing as we explained that both the boat and the water go down at the same time inside a lock...

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June 2020 issue

Licked by the local language
By Stan C. Kimer

This month’s winner is STAN C. KIMER of Raleigh, NC:

Several years ago, my brother-in-law and I took a one-week driving trip through southern Germany, Switzerland and northern Italy. One night was spent in Lugano, which is the Italian-speaking part of Switzerland.

We went into a restaurant for dinner, and the menu was in Italian and German. My brother-in-law could speak some Spanish, and I could speak some French, but our server could not understand either of those languages nor English. Since neither of us understood German nor Italian, we could not figure out anything...

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May 2020 issue

'cause I eats me spinach
By Malcolm Gaissert

This month’s winner is MALCOLM GAISSERT of Arnold, California:

In 2006, my wife and I biked around the Alps for two weeks, after which she flew home to work and I, having been laid off years earlier, continued biking and visiting with friends for a couple more months, having a great time.

On my bike were two panniers heavy with all my personal items. Each night over those three months of biking around Germany, Austria and the Czech Republic, I had to lift the bike up into a friend’s house or within a hotel. Hoisting the bike became second nature to me.

When...

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