'cause I eats me spinach

By Malcolm Gaissert
This item appears on page 22 of the May 2020 issue.
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This month’s winner is MALCOLM GAISSERT of Arnold, California:

In 2006, my wife and I biked around the Alps for two weeks, after which she flew home to work and I, having been laid off years earlier, continued biking and visiting with friends for a couple more months, having a great time.

On my bike were two panniers heavy with all my personal items. Each night over those three months of biking around Germany, Austria and the Czech Republic, I had to lift the bike up into a friend’s house or within a hotel. Hoisting the bike became second nature to me.

When I finally flew home and had my wife all to myself, I wanted to give her a big kiss. She is 8 inches shorter than I, so I grabbed her under her ribs and lifted her up for a kiss…and almost put her head through the ceiling.


Tell us about the funniest thing that happened to you while traveling in a foreign country. (ITN prints no info on destinations in the United States.) There are no restrictions on length. ITN staff will choose each month’s winner, who will receive a free one-year subscription to ITN. Include your full mailing address. Entries not chosen cannot be acknowledged.

Please login or subscribe to ITN to read the entire post.

This month’s winner is MALCOLM GAISSERT of Arnold, California:

In 2006, my wife and I biked around the Alps for two weeks, after which she flew home to work and I, having been laid off years earlier, continued biking and visiting with friends for a couple more months, having a great time.

On my bike were two panniers heavy with all my personal items. Each night over those three months of biking around Germany, Austria and the Czech Republic, I had to lift the bike up into a friend’s house or within a hotel. Hoisting the bike became second nature to me.

When I finally flew home and had my wife all to myself, I wanted to give her a big kiss. She is 8 inches shorter than I, so I grabbed her under her ribs and lifted her up for a kiss…and almost put her head through the ceiling.


Tell us about the funniest thing that happened to you while traveling in a foreign country. (ITN prints no info on destinations in the United States.) There are no restrictions on length. ITN staff will choose each month’s winner, who will receive a free one-year subscription to ITN. Include your full mailing address. Entries not chosen cannot be acknowledged.